Somewhere, deep in the chambers of the Hive’s royal palace, stands a golden Alien Ant of regal posture, decorated in the finest of Antonite Armor.
“Jessoraxxus, give us a report on the situation down on Earth.”
“Yes, sire,” replied Jessoraxxus the Soldier, as he telepathically communicated to the Queen’s Lieutenant, Desledthoraxx, on the Hive 672 million light-years away.
“There are roughly 8 billion humans on Planet Earth, sire, as you know. So we sent 1000 Soldiers and thought it would be enough to dismantle their leadership, sabotage their communications, and pick the rest of them off. But, unfortunately, we underestimated the human’s strength and resolve, sire.”
He continued, “These hairless apes are quite crafty, milord. They can be quite clever, especially when setting traps and ambushes. They will hide in their native environment and set bait (such as criminals or outcasts in their society). Once Ants reveal themselves, they will use bombs, ‘Molotov cocktails, and whatever else they have on hand. They are big fans of explosives, sire.”
“Yes, yes, I know. Explosives. So cowardly, so archaic, and so much collateral damage to the surrounding environment. Our species quit using explosives nearly 20,000 eons ago, is that right?”
Yes, sir, I believe so,” Jessoraxxus replied.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Jessoraxxus; please continue.”
“Yes, sir. Out of the 1000 Soldiers that were sent, only a few survived. So we gave them orders to set up a temporary base until we send in the reinforcements.”
“How many are left, Jessoraxxus?”
“Not sure, less than 100. The remainder of the force is the strongest and bravest Soldiers we have at our disposal, your excellency.”
“Good, have them lay low. We will send another few thousand, which should finish the humans off. Any estimates on the remaining human population?”
“Sir, that is out of my jurisdiction, but if I were to guess, we’ve only managed to reduce 25% of their total population.”
“That’s only 2 billion, Jessoraxxus! So you mean to tell me these primitive Apes managed to kill almost a thousand of our most skilled Soldiers?”
“Yes, sir. As I said, we seriously underestimated the silly Apes. However, we’ve learned from their dirty tricks, and we should be able to finish the extermination as planned. They are no different than the roaches on Zorklux 9.”
“Ah yes, the roaches. I hated those fucking things,” quipped Desledthoraxx. “Perhaps I should come down to the Earth myself and oversee the extermination?”
Jessoraxxus hesitated and replied, “ Y-yes, yes, sir. That would be a great idea. It would give a great morale boost to the Soldiers.”
“Very well then. Give me approximately 0.003 Earth years, and I’ll be right there,” replied Desledthoraxx, confident in his Civilization’s prowess in spacefaring.
The humans are completely unaware, but the Ants had an Anthole (sort of like a wormhole, but for Ants only) built right outside of the Kuiper belt, out of the scope of humanity’s best observation instruments. It wouldn’t be long before Desledthoraxx and even Anthorrax (the Alien Ant King) would come down to the Earth to oversee the repurposing of the humans and their lovely planet.
To understand the Ants’ interest in the Earth, you must realize that the Ants suffer from over-population problems. There are a few reasons for this:
- Advanced technology makes growing food easy.
- Ants are also predators and like meat. The galaxy is full of easy prey (i.e., humans).
- Ants’ physiology is naturally adaptable to many different climates, allowing them to thrive in colonies across their galaxy (and ours).
It just so happens that the Earth is the planet that most closely resembles their Homeworld before all of its resources were fully extracted. The remainder of the Hive Homeworld was laid to waste. Hardly any Ants live on the Hive anymore. Instead, the planet acts as a castle for the Queen and her Bodyguard. The majority of Ants live on worlds dispersed throughout the Universe.
Therefore, the Earth has a special significance to the Ants. Generally, if a planet is populated with non-destructive species, the Ants will leave it alone. However, the Ants have become aware of the humans’ intent on destroying their beautiful planet. Thus, a vote was called, and the Ant Council determined that the Earth was to fall into the Ants’ claws. Just another dot on the map of the Antpire.
Note: Antpire is a play on the word Empire, and refers to the Alien Ants complete intergalactic domination in our region of the Universe.
-Appendaxxus —
Royal Chronicler for the Alien Ant Anthology
